‘Great White Waters’ Review – ‘Sharknado’ Director’s Latest Pits Drug Dealers vs. Sharks

A covert late night mission to secure a bunch of drugs dropped in the ocean goes horribly awry when sharks attack the boat.

That’s the opening scene of Great White Waters but it’s also an encapsulation of the entire film, which essentially pits drug dealers against sharks over the course of a single day. Why so many sharks and why are they so aggressive? A throwaway line about a storm blowing them into the Florida Keys serves to hand wave away the former question, while the film never even bothers with the second.

But these sharks are hungry and/or pissed off because each time an idiotic human sets foot in the water, they come a-swimmin’. And get in the water these characters do, because they work for a psychotic kingpin named Reverend (Steve Hanks) whose outrageous orders must be followed or risk getting bumped off.

You more or less know exactly what you’re signing up for with a Tubi original shark movie from Anthony C. Ferrante, the director of Sharknado. Acting that ranges from passable to atrocious? Check. Schlocky special effects? Check. A script full of groanworthy dialogue and clunky narrative developments? Hell yes.

In that capacity, Great White Waters delivers.

But (most importantly): is it fun? Mostly. But in order to elaborate on that, we need to unpack the plot.

The film is initially split across two storylines: in one, hot widower Gia (Angela Cole) takes out her boat, a honeymoon present from dead husband Dalton (Stephen Lamar Lewis), for a day of fishing. In the other, drug dealer Reverend sends his team, consisting of techie Tony (Hector Becerra), muscle Batton (Michael Shaun Sandy), driver Silas (Rob Eubanks), markswoman Li (Michelle Ng Mini), power hungry number two Charlotte (Ashton Leigh), and team leader Jareth (Johnny Ramey), to recover four crates of drugs masquerading as matcha tea.

The group travels to the drop point courtesy of Tony’s trackers and discovers the wreckage of the boat. As they attempt to collect the drugs, however, they’re beset by sharks and Silas is chomped. The others are saved when Gia appears with an ESD (an EMP for sharks) that buys them enough time to scramble back to their boat.

Naturally Gia is then taken hostage and forced to a) recover the drugs and b) find a way to stay alive as Charlotte and Jareth’s power struggle escalates and the Reverend’s demands become more urgent.

The most compelling aspect of the film are Gia’s efforts to work with and simultaneously against her captors. Jareth has no qualms about killing the mysterious blonde woman who happened to be at the right place at the wrong time, while Charlotte covertly reassures the widower that no harm will come to her. Plus: the real threat is obviously from the sharks, so naturally the group will band together to ensure their collective survive, right?

Well…sort of.

This is where Great White Water struggles. The paper-thin characterizations aren’t too surprising, but Ferrante’s refusal to let any of his characters exhibit any kind of growth or depth becomes increasingly problematic as the film goes on. Rather than force the unorthodox group of people to work collaboratively, everyone keeps acting in their own self-interest, even as their numbers and resources dwindle.

The criminals’ actions would make more sense if the Reverend were a proper villain and less cartoony. His entrance confirms the kingpin is capable of violence, but for the rest of Great White Waters, the way the group jumps at his every command doesn’t feel justified. At a certain point Jareth and Charlotte’s jostling for power within Reverend’s organization becomes redundant given the life and death stakes involving the sharks, but Ferrante’s script never comes to this realization.

Thankfully there are several moments that confirm that the movie is self-aware of its schlocky B-shark movie status. This is particularly evident in the climax, which includes an utterly ridiculous visual sight gag (complementary) that nearly negates all of the earlier criticisms. It may require some annoying/dumb characters and illogical plot developments to get there, but the final showdown justifies the price of admission.

If you’re looking for fleshed-out characters or a compelling ‘enemies to accomplices’ arc, look elsewhere. If you enjoy watching unconvincing CGI sharks leap out of the water to gobble down human caricatures, then Great White Waters gets the job done.

Great White Waters is now streaming on Tubi.

Other Observations:

• The explanation about the storm and the sharks has to be a nod to Ferrante’s mega successful The Asylum franchise, Sharknado.
• The dialogue in the film is a choice. Several lines are delivered so broadly they can only be comedy, but the performances are so wobbly that the intent becomes suspect. Becerra’s reads as comedy; Ramey’s reads as bad acting. Still, this is a movie where a new mercenary is encouraged to fill out her paperwork because Reverend’s organization offers insurance (despite the fact that he spends the whole film actively trying to get his employees to sacrifice themselves in the name of a few kilos of drugs).
• At one point a character suggests they’re under attack by “a pod” of sharks, but a group of sharks is actually called “a shiver.” <insert The More You Know GIF>
• I loved the set dressing of the boat because it includes a land line telephone, despite the fact that everyone has cell phones (and uses those exclusively).
• It’s a good thing the sharks are so plentiful because they’re dispatched fairly easily. A harpoon, a few rifle shots, and, at one point, even a single thrust of a knife through the jaw is enough to kill one!
• Kudos to the production on the underwater photography: it’s shot well and looks pretty when the scuba divers are in the water.
• The scariest/least believable moment occurs when Gia watches an old video of Dalton singing her an original song, and the film suggests that it is romantic and heartwarming. It’s terrifying.

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